1 00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:03,318 The princess nodded, and the frog said, 2 00:03:03,426 --> 00:03:07,829 "That which you have promised, you must perform." 3 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:13,330 Very good. Keep reading. 4 00:03:13,437 --> 00:03:16,565 "So the princess leaned in and kissed the frog, 5 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:21,841 " but as she did, he became a handsome prince, 6 00:03:21,948 --> 00:03:23,972 "and they rode off to his kingdom, 7 00:03:24,082 --> 00:03:28,815 where they lived happily ever after. " 8 00:03:28,921 --> 00:03:32,449 Happily ever after. 9 00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:35,288 There's no such thing as " happily ever after." 10 00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:40,027 Not for a real princess. 11 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:43,796 The prince my father wants me to marry will always be a frog. 12 00:03:43,903 --> 00:03:47,204 My offer still stands. I will help you get to America. 13 00:03:47,308 --> 00:03:49,708 - America? - That's very kind. 14 00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:51,799 But we're running out of time. 15 00:03:51,911 --> 00:03:55,313 I know of a ship bound for America, but we must leave tonight. 16 00:03:55,416 --> 00:03:58,318 - Leave tonight? - We must hurry, Princess. 17 00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:08,724 Hurry, Princess. 18 00:05:09,528 --> 00:05:12,761 Mung Goo Hi. 19 00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:14,891 Zhou Hei. 20 00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,197 Chow Lu. 21 00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:48,297 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's it. 22 00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:51,529 Okay. Great. Great. Okay. 23 00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:54,333 Come here. Look at this. Spent a lot of time on this. 24 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,704 Now, pay attention, 'cause I don't want any mistakes. 25 00:06:56,809 --> 00:06:59,244 Now, I've calculated the speed of the train and the speed of our horses. 26 00:06:59,346 --> 00:07:01,576 We meet at this vector. The only variable is the wind. 27 00:07:01,681 --> 00:07:04,878 - Technically, if you travel over here on the horses... - Is this the train? 28 00:07:17,865 --> 00:07:21,266 All right. We're just gonna wing it... Like we always do. 29 00:07:21,369 --> 00:07:23,337 Ride down, jump on the train, 30 00:07:23,438 --> 00:07:26,237 hoorah the money, head back to the cathouse, all right? 31 00:07:26,341 --> 00:07:29,936 - Mm-hmm. - Let's go. Come on. Move out. Go! 32 00:07:30,045 --> 00:07:32,911 You okay? Nervous? It's all right to be nervous when you're new. 33 00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:35,382 You'll be okay. I'll keep an eye on you. 34 00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:38,453 All you gotta do is follow my lead. All right, look alive, outlaws! 35 00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:48,797 "So the princess leaned in and kissed the frog, 36 00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:52,960 "but as she did, he became a handsome prince, 37 00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,594 "and they rode off to his kingdom, 38 00:07:55,705 --> 00:07:59,733 where they lived happily ever after. " 39 00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,413 Reach for the sky, ladies and gentlemen! 40 00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:15,152 Touch that gun and I'll blow your god damn head off! 41 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:18,253 What are you doin'? I sorta like to be the only guy that talks, Wallace. 42 00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:20,593 - All right. I'm sorry. - That's okay. That's okay. Good. 43 00:08:20,699 --> 00:08:23,134 Don't worry. Come on, come on. Big 'Un, let's go. 44 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,466 Why is the new guy talking? Where did you get this guy? 45 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,632 You know I'm the only one who talks. Okay, everybody keep calm. 46 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,971 You think you're gonna shoot me? Is that right? 47 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,670 What you got right in here? Yeah, you got this gun? 48 00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,771 You think you're gonna do something with that gun? 49 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:38,248 Come on, Lady Bird. You got anything in here besides yarn? 50 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,754 - You got it out for me! - Hey! 51 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,289 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No. 52 00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:46,688 Come here. Come here. We don't steal from women. 53 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:49,626 Get over here. Take that side. 54 00:08:49,731 --> 00:08:52,859 Give me your hand. Give me your hand. 55 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:56,266 I'm so sorry about that. I apologize. 56 00:08:57,739 --> 00:09:00,264 First time you've seen an outlaw? 57 00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:02,936 Scared? Kind of excited too? 58 00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:05,605 All mixed up? Yeah. 59 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,807 Last train we robbed, we were naked, it was so hot out. 60 00:09:10,919 --> 00:09:12,979 Yeah, it was somethin'. 61 00:09:15,491 --> 00:09:17,483 Yeah, it's got my initials right there. 62 00:09:17,595 --> 00:09:21,963 What are you lookin' at? 63 00:09:23,934 --> 00:09:26,869 Wait! Stop! Where did you get this guy? 64 00:09:26,971 --> 00:09:30,031 - Texas. - Texas? Are you insane? 65 00:09:30,141 --> 00:09:32,473 Just shoot me now, 'cause I don't understand what we're doing here. 66 00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:36,377 Sir, sir, sir, sir. Come here, come here, come here. Sit down. 67 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,141 - Excuse me. - Sir, sit down. 68 00:09:46,491 --> 00:09:50,757 - What happened? Wallace, what are you doing? - I'm just wingin' it. 69 00:09:50,862 --> 00:09:53,559 No! That's not how we wing it! 70 00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:56,361 No more winging it! Stop! Come on, Big 'Un. 71 00:09:56,468 --> 00:09:59,336 - You've lost your "winging it" privileges. - Damn. 72 00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:00,838 Damn! 73 00:10:38,913 --> 00:10:43,476 Who killed my uncle? Who did this? 74 00:11:14,185 --> 00:11:16,483 Give me the dynamite. Give me the dynamite. 75 00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:18,988 No, no, no, no. You stay here. You don't get to come. 76 00:11:19,091 --> 00:11:22,856 - Keep an eye on Wing Nut. - Hey, Blue, looky here! 77 00:11:34,908 --> 00:11:36,876 Okay. 78 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:44,678 - Who killed my uncle? - What the hell is this, the Orient Express? 79 00:11:46,654 --> 00:11:48,678 - Get him! - Come here! 80 00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:38,507 Wh... Hey! The safe's getting ready to blow! 81 00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:42,170 Get ready to reap the fruits of our labor. 82 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,648 Move it! Let's go! 83 00:13:15,749 --> 00:13:19,412 Roy, you just blew the shit out of our fruits. 84 00:13:25,692 --> 00:13:27,627 Oh, shit. 85 00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:36,468 We got a Chinaman to catch. 86 00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:43,506 Stop! Stop! 87 00:13:46,281 --> 00:13:49,910 Stop! Stop! Turn around! 88 00:13:50,018 --> 00:13:52,919 Turn around! 89 00:13:55,725 --> 00:13:58,194 What the... 90 00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:02,358 - Who are you? - Hey, Roy! 91 00:14:02,465 --> 00:14:05,525 Don't you worry about a thing! I got you covered! 92 00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:07,626 No! 93 00:14:07,737 --> 00:14:10,536 No! 94 00:14:16,947 --> 00:14:19,781 Roll, baby, roll! 95 00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:51,177 Reach for the sky, O'Bannon! It's my gang now! 96 00:15:15,377 --> 00:15:17,844 I don't understand. 97 00:15:17,946 --> 00:15:20,710 You said your friend had a large estate. 98 00:15:20,816 --> 00:15:22,909 He does. 99 00:15:23,018 --> 00:15:26,045 - What exactly does he do? - Well, you could say... 100 00:15:26,156 --> 00:15:28,248 he's a philanthropist. 101 00:15:28,357 --> 00:15:31,849 He helps Chinese immigrants get back on their feet. 102 00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:12,896 Welcome to America, Princess. 103 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,398 Lo Fong. 104 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,167 Forgive me if I do not bow. 105 00:16:20,278 --> 00:16:23,807 Calvin, this man is a trai... 106 00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,976 Traitor. 107 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:29,681 Why? Because he ran away from the Forbidden City? 108 00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:42,499 Your reward is on the table, Mr. Andrews. 109 00:16:56,085 --> 00:16:59,214 Well, now you're gonna have to double it, or I'm gonna kill her. 110 00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:06,027 One thing about the Chinese, Mr. Andrews... 111 00:17:08,732 --> 00:17:10,962 Aah! 112 00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:14,833 We do not renegotiate. 113 00:17:27,919 --> 00:17:31,048 Whatever you think I'm going to do for you, 114 00:17:33,025 --> 00:17:35,016 you're wrong. 115 00:17:36,428 --> 00:17:38,919 It was just like a nightmare. 116 00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:41,499 You wouldn't believe it if I told you. 117 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:47,164 My gang left me in the desert. I felt like all the other cowboys hated my guts. 118 00:17:47,273 --> 00:17:50,674 Everyone was... I just missed you. I missed all of you. 119 00:17:50,777 --> 00:17:53,406 We missed you too, Roy. 120 00:17:53,514 --> 00:17:55,777 I think it's medication time. 121 00:17:59,887 --> 00:18:02,116 Come here, devil woman. 122 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,521 Oh. Mmm. 123 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,425 Oh! Ooh, that's naughty. 124 00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:11,760 Ohh. Ow, careful. Careful with that. 125 00:18:11,865 --> 00:18:14,232 Ow, ow. Careful. Ow. 126 00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:16,735 Ow. Aaaah! 127 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:27,039 Holy crap! The vultures are eating my head! 128 00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,481 Aaaah! Aaaah! 129 00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:33,453 Help! Help! My gang buried me! 130 00:18:33,556 --> 00:18:36,287 They left me for dead! 131 00:18:36,392 --> 00:18:38,758 Ooh! Ooh. 132 00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:42,663 Oh, thank heavens. I thought you were a mirage. 133 00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:46,224 - Oh, come on. Water. - You. 134 00:18:50,373 --> 00:18:52,808 - You killed my uncle! - Bull! 135 00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:55,174 That was Wallace all the way. 136 00:18:55,279 --> 00:18:58,806 - He was one of your bandits. - He wasn't part of my gang. 137 00:18:58,916 --> 00:19:02,682 He was a new guy. He's crazy as a road lizard. 138 00:19:02,787 --> 00:19:06,484 - You deserve to die. - Hold on a second. 139 00:19:06,591 --> 00:19:09,026 You know what no one's saying here? 140 00:19:09,127 --> 00:19:12,254 I had a chance to kill you on that train, and I chose not to. 141 00:19:12,363 --> 00:19:15,162 'Cause I'm not a barbarian. 142 00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:18,760 - Hey! Where are you going? - Carson City. 143 00:19:18,872 --> 00:19:23,639 I'm closer to diggin' myself to China than you are to gettin' to Carson City. 144 00:19:23,743 --> 00:19:25,711 - Hey! - Which way? 145 00:19:25,812 --> 00:19:29,043 Hey, that's better. Dig me out and I'll show you. 146 00:19:31,318 --> 00:19:34,310 Which way? 147 00:19:39,593 --> 00:19:41,652 You see the... Mountains over there? 148 00:19:43,163 --> 00:19:46,724 Carson City is on the other side. 149 00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:50,566 All right, dig me out. I kept my end of the bargain. 150 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,538 Dig me out. 151 00:19:55,677 --> 00:19:58,077 Dig. 152 00:19:58,179 --> 00:20:03,015 Hey! Hey! 153 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,418 - Come on! - Don't talk. Just dig. 154 00:20:09,759 --> 00:20:12,023 Aargh! 155 00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:50,449 Hey! 156 00:26:20,555 --> 00:26:24,754 Where is Carson City? 157 00:29:04,698 --> 00:29:08,067 - How. - How. 158 00:29:09,503 --> 00:29:11,299 - How. - How. 159 00:29:11,404 --> 00:29:15,603 - How. How. How. How. - How. 160 00:30:50,010 --> 00:30:53,377 I thought you might be hungry. 161 00:30:58,151 --> 00:31:02,589 - You were wrong. - You would find me a much better host... 162 00:31:02,690 --> 00:31:05,716 if we could come to some sort of an arrangement. 163 00:31:08,730 --> 00:31:11,132 An arrangement? 164 00:31:11,234 --> 00:31:14,429 Like the one you have with the slaves working on this railroad? 165 00:31:16,537 --> 00:31:19,473 These people are free to leave. 166 00:31:21,010 --> 00:31:23,104 What do you want with me? 167 00:31:24,980 --> 00:31:28,882 Once I have the emperor's gold, my work will be complete. 168 00:31:33,256 --> 00:31:35,782 Princess. 169 00:31:38,995 --> 00:31:41,087 I think it is time for you to be among your people. 170 00:31:48,739 --> 00:31:51,833 They don't look like any injuns I ever seen, Jedediah. 171 00:31:51,942 --> 00:31:55,241 That's because they're not injuns, woman! They're Jews! 172 00:33:18,768 --> 00:33:21,237 You, stay. 173 00:33:51,004 --> 00:33:53,096 You guys, get a load of this. 174 00:34:03,251 --> 00:34:08,482 How. 175 00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:21,094 Is this Carson City? 176 00:34:22,870 --> 00:34:25,270 No, this ain't Carson City, Chief. 177 00:34:25,373 --> 00:34:28,935 You're gonna have to get your firewater somewhere else. 178 00:35:11,756 --> 00:35:14,816 All right, Roy, ante up. 179 00:35:28,241 --> 00:35:32,200 And stay out! 180 00:35:42,189 --> 00:35:44,521 You bounce back fast, kimosabe. 181 00:35:53,536 --> 00:35:55,833 Ow. 182 00:35:55,937 --> 00:35:58,666 What are you doin' here? I thought you were going to Carson City. 183 00:35:58,772 --> 00:36:02,004 You! You gave me bad directions! 184 00:36:02,110 --> 00:36:05,274 No, I gave you wrong directions. 185 00:36:05,382 --> 00:36:09,078 You want your toothpicks back? 186 00:36:09,184 --> 00:36:12,517 - You got a lot of nerve, comin' in here with that... - Give it back to me! 187 00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:26,363 Ain't that somethin'? 188 00:36:28,672 --> 00:36:31,608 Take your hand off me. 189 00:36:38,182 --> 00:36:39,946 - Ohh! - Ohh! 190 00:36:42,921 --> 00:36:45,116 Hey, I just want to go to Carson City! 191 00:37:19,761 --> 00:37:22,628 You're goin' for a ride! 192 00:37:22,731 --> 00:37:25,665 Aaah! Aaah! 193 00:37:57,567 --> 00:38:00,001 No! 194 00:38:07,578 --> 00:38:10,011 Yes! Yeah! 195 00:38:12,183 --> 00:38:14,879 Yes! Yes! 196 00:38:14,986 --> 00:38:17,477 No! No! 197 00:38:17,588 --> 00:38:19,681 Sorry! I'm sorry! 198 00:38:19,791 --> 00:38:21,760 You! 199 00:38:39,546 --> 00:38:43,539 - Who in the hell started this? - The Chinaman. 200 00:38:48,288 --> 00:38:51,052 Let me out! Give me the book back! 201 00:38:51,158 --> 00:38:54,127 I have to go to Carson City to rescue the princess! 202 00:38:54,228 --> 00:38:57,198 You've got the wrong person! I don't belong here! 203 00:38:57,298 --> 00:38:59,391 Hey! 204 00:38:59,501 --> 00:39:02,468 Keep goin' with the Chinese. That's workin'. They're about to let you out. 205 00:39:02,568 --> 00:39:06,438 - Give me the book back! - For cryin' out loud, just give him the book back, please. 206 00:39:06,541 --> 00:39:08,737 - If it'll give us some peace and quiet... Forget about it. - Open it up! 207 00:39:08,844 --> 00:39:11,903 - They're not givin' you the book back. Drop the book. - I wasted enough time with you. 208 00:39:12,013 --> 00:39:15,471 - What? You've wasted enough time with me? What about me? - Give me the book! 209 00:39:15,584 --> 00:39:17,711 - Listen for a second. Stop! - Give me the book! Hey! 210 00:39:17,819 --> 00:39:21,221 Listen! Stop! You're not in the East, okay? 211 00:39:21,323 --> 00:39:25,124 You're not in China. This is the West. The sun doesn't rise here, it sets here, 212 00:39:25,228 --> 00:39:29,095 and you're closer to getting us hung than you are getting that book back, okay? 213 00:39:30,734 --> 00:39:34,466 Now, just... I like that. 214 00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:36,732 That's what I'm talking about. You're wound so tight. 215 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,603 You're the most irritable guy I've ever been around. Just relax for a second. 216 00:39:39,708 --> 00:39:42,645 Take ten minutes, and then you can go back to screaming, I promise. 217 00:39:42,747 --> 00:39:45,910 I'll join you. Okay, just relax for a second. 218 00:39:47,952 --> 00:39:50,284 Come on, sit down. 219 00:39:52,290 --> 00:39:54,758 Come on. 220 00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:02,033 Just relax. 221 00:40:02,134 --> 00:40:04,762 Is that relaxed? 222 00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:08,432 You look sort of rigid there. 223 00:40:08,541 --> 00:40:10,667 You know what? We got off on the wrong foot. 224 00:40:10,777 --> 00:40:14,110 Let's try to start again. 225 00:40:14,214 --> 00:40:16,841 Man, you sure can fight. 226 00:40:16,950 --> 00:40:19,145 I've never seen anything like that. 227 00:40:19,252 --> 00:40:22,380 It was... 228 00:40:22,488 --> 00:40:25,617 I'm trying to give you a compliment. 229 00:40:25,726 --> 00:40:28,785 You're not still mad about me pointin' you in the wrong direction, are you? 230 00:40:28,895 --> 00:40:32,388 Come on. You gotta be able to laugh at stuff like that. 231 00:40:32,499 --> 00:40:36,061 Like me in the desert. I don't hold any grudges. I laugh about it. 232 00:40:36,171 --> 00:40:39,368 I'm not angry at you. You just left me there with chopsticks to die. 233 00:40:39,474 --> 00:40:43,808 Roy, all by his lonesome. Just me and the buzzards pickin 'at my head. 234 00:40:46,147 --> 00:40:49,640 You're a very silent man, aren't you? 235 00:40:49,752 --> 00:40:51,913 You weren't expecting to see old Roy in that bar, were you? 236 00:40:52,021 --> 00:40:54,011 Be honest. Were you? Huh? 237 00:40:58,094 --> 00:41:00,063 Did you really use those chopsticks? 238 00:41:00,163 --> 00:41:03,427 You better believe it. 239 00:41:03,532 --> 00:41:06,730 Now you laugh. That's funny. I gotta remember that one. 240 00:41:06,837 --> 00:41:12,333 - So, who are you? - I'm Imperial Guard to the Emperor of China. 241 00:41:12,443 --> 00:41:14,876 China. 242 00:41:14,978 --> 00:41:19,381 - What's with the book? - The book belongs to Princess Pei Pei. 243 00:41:19,483 --> 00:41:21,280 - Who? - Princess Pei Pei. 244 00:41:21,385 --> 00:41:23,877 She was kidnapped from the Forbidden City. 245 00:41:23,988 --> 00:41:27,288 Forbidden City? I like that, the Forbidden City. 246 00:41:27,393 --> 00:41:32,228 A princess kidnapped. It's so mysterious. Oh, go ahead. 247 00:41:32,331 --> 00:41:34,561 The emperor sent us to get her back. 248 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:36,897 Us? You mean your friends from the train? 249 00:41:37,002 --> 00:41:42,064 They are also Imperial Guards. They have four days to bring the gold to Carson City. 250 00:41:42,173 --> 00:41:45,042 - What gold? - The gold for the princess. 251 00:41:47,846 --> 00:41:50,042 The gold... Was the gold on the train? 252 00:41:50,150 --> 00:41:51,879 Yes. 253 00:41:56,756 --> 00:41:59,317 How much gold? 254 00:41:59,427 --> 00:42:02,884 One hundred thousand pieces. 255 00:42:02,996 --> 00:42:07,160 Sir? Sir? Could you hand us that book, please? 256 00:42:07,267 --> 00:42:09,499 Sir, there's been a mistake. He has... 257 00:42:09,604 --> 00:42:11,935 Sir... Yeah. 258 00:42:21,783 --> 00:42:25,344 We're gonna get that book, and we're gonna get you out of here. 259 00:42:25,455 --> 00:42:28,253 - You help me escape? - Shh. Yes. 260 00:42:28,358 --> 00:42:31,326 - Why? - Why? I'm gonna tell you why. 261 00:42:31,426 --> 00:42:33,952 Because there are some things in this world that are just wrong, 262 00:42:34,063 --> 00:42:37,033 and stealing a princess is one of them. 263 00:42:37,134 --> 00:42:39,260 Yeah. That's wrong. 264 00:42:39,369 --> 00:42:42,464 I'll tell you another thing. I feel guilty about leading you up that mountain. 265 00:42:42,573 --> 00:42:44,768 What was I thinking? How much time did we waste there? 266 00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:47,605 That was stupid. It wasn't funny. All right? 267 00:42:47,711 --> 00:42:49,975 Now, sit tight and let me figure this out. 268 00:42:51,249 --> 00:42:53,547 All right, come on, Roy. 269 00:42:53,651 --> 00:42:57,644 Maybe... Maybe I pretend to be sick, then attack the guards when they come in. 270 00:42:57,756 --> 00:42:59,951 Okay, you mean the sick prisoner routine? 271 00:43:00,058 --> 00:43:02,322 Yeah. Does that still work in China? 272 00:43:02,427 --> 00:43:04,395 'Cause here it's sorta been done to death. 273 00:43:07,098 --> 00:43:09,659 - I have another idea. - No, no, no, no, no. 274 00:43:09,769 --> 00:43:13,033 Here's how you help me. You stay on your side of the room, let me figure it out over here. 275 00:43:13,138 --> 00:43:15,335 Okay, you play over there. 276 00:43:18,444 --> 00:43:21,641 Think. Think. What do we got here? Oh, yeah. 277 00:43:21,747 --> 00:43:23,578 Okay. 278 00:43:23,682 --> 00:43:27,347 We got wood. We got a wall made out of wood. 279 00:43:27,455 --> 00:43:29,514 That's good. Oh, we got pillows. 280 00:43:32,358 --> 00:43:35,659 We got pillows, sheets. We got the sheets and the mattress. 281 00:43:35,763 --> 00:43:39,323 Okay, let's put it all together. Let's think. Add it up, add it up. 282 00:43:39,434 --> 00:43:42,369 What do we got? What do we got? 283 00:43:44,671 --> 00:43:46,868 What are you doing? Stop! Stop! 284 00:43:46,974 --> 00:43:49,101 - What are you doing? - Shh. 285 00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:52,409 - Hold this for me. - No, no. That's your shirt. You hold it. 286 00:43:58,887 --> 00:44:01,618 I like your energy, but I'm not with you. 287 00:44:01,724 --> 00:44:05,352 - When the shirt gets wet, it doesn't break. - I don't know what that means. 288 00:44:05,461 --> 00:44:07,726 And then... 289 00:44:11,201 --> 00:44:14,568 Okay. And then what... Then with the wet shirt, you... 290 00:44:14,671 --> 00:44:17,971 You bend the bars. That's the pay-off. 291 00:44:18,075 --> 00:44:20,066 Don't waste my time with stuff like that, okay? 292 00:44:20,177 --> 00:44:22,702 A 2,000-year-old civilization, that's all you can come up with? 293 00:44:22,813 --> 00:44:25,213 Shame on you. Shame on you. 294 00:44:33,358 --> 00:44:37,226 Come on. Stop, please. It's embarrassing. 295 00:44:49,175 --> 00:44:51,769 - See? I told you so. - No, you said, "Wet shirt don't break," 296 00:44:51,878 --> 00:44:53,904 not " Piss shirt bend bar." 297 00:44:55,682 --> 00:44:57,649 - Twist it. - Help. 298 00:44:57,750 --> 00:45:00,242 Okay, there. Get it. There you go. 299 00:45:01,955 --> 00:45:04,321 Just one more. Yeah. 300 00:45:04,424 --> 00:45:06,790 You're as strong as an ox! Go! You can do it! 301 00:45:09,863 --> 00:45:12,264 There, you got it! We're gettin' it! 302 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,962 - Hold it for me. I'll get through. - Okay. 303 00:45:16,070 --> 00:45:18,471 No, no, no. You hold it and I'll go through. 304 00:45:24,812 --> 00:45:28,146 No! Not your hand! Stop. 305 00:45:29,318 --> 00:45:31,308 - Hold it. - Adios, sucker. 306 00:45:31,419 --> 00:45:34,719 - What? - I'm just kidding. Come on. Go. 307 00:45:34,823 --> 00:45:36,883 I wouldn't leave my old pal there. 308 00:45:36,993 --> 00:45:39,223 Go. Really squeeze. 309 00:45:41,830 --> 00:45:43,822 No, no, no, no. Grab this, grab that. 310 00:45:45,602 --> 00:45:48,002 Work your magic right here. 311 00:45:50,473 --> 00:45:53,466 - Too dry. - What? Juice it up. Juice it up. Go. 312 00:45:53,578 --> 00:45:56,479 I can't! No more! 313 00:45:56,581 --> 00:45:58,674 Ah, damn it. 314 00:45:58,783 --> 00:46:02,082 Come on out, little Roy. Work your magic. 315 00:46:08,092 --> 00:46:11,256 - Hurry up. - I'm trying, I'm trying. 316 00:46:11,363 --> 00:46:14,094 - Stop! Don't look at me. - Relax! 317 00:46:15,934 --> 00:46:17,993 - Relax. It'll come. - Thanks. 318 00:46:18,103 --> 00:46:21,005 - That helps. Yeah. Good. - Is that called relax? 319 00:46:36,223 --> 00:46:38,623 Whoa! 320 00:46:47,235 --> 00:46:50,260 Sheriff! Oh, thank God you're here. Get the guns! 321 00:46:59,681 --> 00:47:02,207 - Get my book! - I got it! 322 00:47:02,318 --> 00:47:05,947 Whoa, whoa. Wow, who's the pretty lady? 323 00:47:06,055 --> 00:47:08,616 - That's my wife. - How long you been in this country? 324 00:47:08,725 --> 00:47:11,124 - Four days. - Nice work. 325 00:47:14,264 --> 00:47:16,663 Hello. 326 00:47:16,766 --> 00:47:19,235 Come on. Let's adios, partner. 327 00:47:19,336 --> 00:47:21,304 Hyah! 328 00:47:26,275 --> 00:47:28,301 Well, best of luck to you. 329 00:47:28,411 --> 00:47:32,781 Guess this is what your people call sayonara. 330 00:47:32,883 --> 00:47:35,784 Looks like Fido's giving you some problems there. 331 00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:37,910 You want me to, uh, give you a hand? 332 00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:40,958 - No, I can do it. - Sure, you can. 333 00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:43,652 How is a greenhorn like you gonna make it to Carson City... 334 00:47:43,761 --> 00:47:46,526 and rescue this princess? 335 00:47:46,631 --> 00:47:49,498 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 336 00:47:51,436 --> 00:47:55,168 I can't take it any more. Watch me do it. 337 00:47:57,043 --> 00:48:00,170 Get it like this and you put it up high. 338 00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:05,475 See? It'll drift back when you're riding. 339 00:48:10,623 --> 00:48:13,149 - All right, I'll do it. - Do what? 340 00:48:13,260 --> 00:48:15,558 Take you to Carson City, help you rescue Princess " Pee Pee." 341 00:48:15,662 --> 00:48:18,358 Pei Pei. You do not care about the princess. 342 00:48:18,465 --> 00:48:20,831 You don't know me very well, do you? 343 00:48:23,404 --> 00:48:25,963 Tell you one thing... I'd hate to think of an innocent member... 344 00:48:26,073 --> 00:48:28,065 of Chinese nobility suffering. 345 00:48:28,176 --> 00:48:30,906 Tell you that. 346 00:48:32,581 --> 00:48:35,981 You people believe in karma over there, right? 347 00:48:36,084 --> 00:48:41,387 Well, I've been thinking. There must be a reason why we keep running into each other. 348 00:48:41,490 --> 00:48:45,256 I've ridden with some terrible men... Just people I couldn't trust. 349 00:48:45,361 --> 00:48:47,693 But when I look at you, 350 00:48:47,796 --> 00:48:52,255 there's something different about you, and I can see it. 351 00:48:52,368 --> 00:48:54,894 I can see it in your eyes. 352 00:48:56,373 --> 00:48:59,276 It's what the Indians call Chippichawa. 353 00:48:59,378 --> 00:49:02,709 - What's that? - Chippichawa is nobility. 354 00:49:02,812 --> 00:49:05,839 And you have it in spades. 355 00:49:07,952 --> 00:49:11,854 You've got yourself a partner. This has nothing to do with gold, okay? 356 00:49:11,956 --> 00:49:14,618 Shake on it. 357 00:49:14,725 --> 00:49:17,353 Why you spitting in your hand? 358 00:49:17,461 --> 00:49:19,520 Well, it's customary, to seal the deal. 359 00:49:19,630 --> 00:49:22,293 Come on. Let's go. 360 00:49:28,406 --> 00:49:30,432 This is gonna be a long journey. 361 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:38,317 You boys take care now, you hear? Shalom. 362 00:49:42,056 --> 00:49:46,424 - Shalom. - Oh. Let's go. 363 00:49:49,763 --> 00:49:52,493 Yee-haw! Goddamn! 364 00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,899 Looks like y'all had a twister touch down in here. 365 00:49:56,003 --> 00:49:59,804 - Roy O'Bannon and his partner come through town. - Roy O'Bannon? 366 00:49:59,909 --> 00:50:03,674 Roy O'Bannon ain't got no partner, friend. Roy O'Bannon is dead. 367 00:50:03,778 --> 00:50:09,307 He ain't dead. He busted out of jail last night with the Shanghai Kid. 368 00:50:09,417 --> 00:50:12,410 Shanghai Kid? Roy got a new gang goin'? 369 00:50:12,521 --> 00:50:16,150 That son of a bitch. That two-timin' son of a bitch! 370 00:50:16,258 --> 00:50:19,125 He double-crossed us with that Chinaman from the damn train! 371 00:50:19,228 --> 00:50:22,823 Just like that. See, at kind of a rakish angle. 372 00:50:22,932 --> 00:50:27,028 - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. - How do I look? 373 00:50:27,136 --> 00:50:30,664 I think you look great. I think you look like a real cowboy. 374 00:50:30,774 --> 00:50:33,641 Very dapper, red bandana. 375 00:50:33,744 --> 00:50:36,338 Roy O'Bannon. 376 00:50:36,446 --> 00:50:39,381 - My name is Chon Wang. - John Wayne? 377 00:50:39,483 --> 00:50:42,452 Chon Wang. 378 00:50:42,552 --> 00:50:44,782 - That's a terrible cowboy name. - Why? 379 00:50:44,888 --> 00:50:47,119 No, come on, that's not gonna work. That's horrible. 380 00:50:47,225 --> 00:50:51,287 - That's so bad. And so's the ponytail. - No! 381 00:50:55,133 --> 00:50:57,864 It doesn't look that bad, actually. 382 00:50:59,304 --> 00:51:01,739 Never touch my queue. 383 00:51:01,841 --> 00:51:04,206 That killed! Ow. 384 00:51:04,309 --> 00:51:07,005 - We have to go to Carson City. - Okay. 385 00:51:07,112 --> 00:51:10,377 Now, before we go to Carson City, I want to teach you some stuff. Come on. 386 00:51:11,918 --> 00:51:15,354 You just follow me. 387 00:51:15,455 --> 00:51:18,254 - What's that? - Sensitivity. Increased reflexes. 388 00:51:18,359 --> 00:51:21,259 Now, these are guns. These can be your best friend or worst enemy. 389 00:51:21,361 --> 00:51:23,694 That's a spin in my left hand. That's a spin in my right hand. 390 00:51:23,798 --> 00:51:26,063 That's two spins. Now, here, I'm gonna let you hang onto this. 391 00:51:26,168 --> 00:51:29,364 See? Whoa. Be careful. Always be ready. Always be ready. 392 00:51:29,470 --> 00:51:31,835 Now, try to exhale for long-range shots, 393 00:51:31,939 --> 00:51:33,908 inhale for short-range. 394 00:51:34,009 --> 00:51:35,873 All right, now cover up your ears, 'cause this could be loud. 395 00:51:35,976 --> 00:51:37,944 Cover up your ears. 396 00:51:51,561 --> 00:51:54,724 I am like a wild horse. You can't tame me. 397 00:51:54,831 --> 00:51:58,198 You put the oats in the pen, though, and I'll come in for a nibble every day. 398 00:52:03,740 --> 00:52:07,472 But if you ever shut that gate, I'll jump the fence. You'll never see me again. 399 00:52:21,259 --> 00:52:24,786 Thing about your husband... And this is nothing against him, 400 00:52:24,896 --> 00:52:26,888 because I really like him... 401 00:52:26,999 --> 00:52:29,330 he comes from a very male-dominated society. 402 00:52:56,862 --> 00:52:58,991 Let me put it this way... 403 00:52:59,100 --> 00:53:01,193 my horse is definitely not my best friend. 404 00:53:15,750 --> 00:53:18,082 Now, people start looking at you funny, 405 00:53:18,286 --> 00:53:20,447 all you gotta say is, " Howdy, partner." 406 00:53:20,555 --> 00:53:23,046 - Howdy, partner? - Faster than that or people will think you're slow in the head. 407 00:53:23,157 --> 00:53:25,319 - Howdy, partner. - Howdy, partner. 408 00:53:25,427 --> 00:53:28,794 - Just follow my lead. Howdy, partner. - Howdy, partner. 409 00:53:31,233 --> 00:53:34,360 - Howdy, partner. - Just park it right there. 410 00:53:35,638 --> 00:53:37,696 It's not working. 411 00:53:37,806 --> 00:53:42,506 Some people aren't as tolerant as I am. Not very friendly today. 412 00:53:45,782 --> 00:53:48,876 John, what are you... 413 00:53:48,985 --> 00:53:52,319 - John... - Ow. Hurt. 414 00:53:52,423 --> 00:53:55,152 Okay. We gotta work on that. 415 00:53:56,493 --> 00:53:58,586 Here you go, John. Straighten up here. 416 00:53:58,695 --> 00:54:00,687 - Roy, it hurts so bad. - I know, John, 417 00:54:00,798 --> 00:54:03,324 but I'm not gonna walk with you if you walk like that. 418 00:54:03,434 --> 00:54:05,733 I'll be okay. 419 00:54:10,175 --> 00:54:13,770 - Hey, Roy. It's you. - Holy shit! 420 00:54:13,879 --> 00:54:15,870 I'm a wanted man. Look at this! 421 00:54:15,981 --> 00:54:17,950 - Five hundred bucks! That's a lot of money. - Let me see. 422 00:54:18,051 --> 00:54:21,177 - Nice picture. - Careful, careful. 423 00:54:21,286 --> 00:54:23,516 Wow, look at this. Do you know what this means? 424 00:54:23,622 --> 00:54:25,750 - This will drive the girls crazy. - Really? 425 00:54:25,858 --> 00:54:28,794 Yes, really. Come on, let's get a couple more of these. 426 00:54:28,896 --> 00:54:30,920 - It's not bad. - I'm wanted too! 427 00:54:31,030 --> 00:54:34,523 - What? - This. 428 00:54:34,635 --> 00:54:36,967 Oh, come on. That's not right. 429 00:54:37,070 --> 00:54:39,094 I know. I'm not from Shanghai. 430 00:54:39,205 --> 00:54:41,231 No! $1,000 for a sidekick? 431 00:54:41,341 --> 00:54:43,969 - You gotta be kidding me. - Be careful. 432 00:54:44,077 --> 00:54:47,876 Justice system's all screwed up. 433 00:54:47,980 --> 00:54:52,248 Man can't even ride a horse, and that's a really cool nickname... Shanghai Kid. 434 00:54:52,353 --> 00:54:54,447 It's like, got a snap to it that... 435 00:54:56,825 --> 00:55:00,487 Uh -oh, trouble. John, come here. Get over here. 436 00:55:01,831 --> 00:55:04,492 Tie 'em up over here, fellas. 437 00:55:09,572 --> 00:55:11,632 - What's going on? - Shh. 438 00:55:11,741 --> 00:55:13,970 Oh. 439 00:55:14,076 --> 00:55:16,773 Howdy, partner. 440 00:55:19,684 --> 00:55:22,777 Oh, my God, it's a posse. They can't be looking for us. 441 00:55:22,886 --> 00:55:26,413 - What's " posse"? - Oh, I think they're passing us by. 442 00:55:26,523 --> 00:55:31,689 It looked like Marshal Nathan Van Cleef, the psychotic killer. 443 00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:40,302 Roy O'Bannon! This is Marshal Nathan Van Cleef. 444 00:55:40,404 --> 00:55:42,872 - Ohh! - We know you're hidin 'in there. 445 00:55:42,974 --> 00:55:45,341 Oh, God, it is him. It is him. 446 00:55:45,444 --> 00:55:50,177 Why don't you throw down Your six-shooters and come out With your hands up. 447 00:55:50,282 --> 00:55:53,115 And that goes for the scum you're ridin' with too. 448 00:55:53,218 --> 00:55:56,518 - He won. - Roy, Roy, it's okay. 449 00:55:56,623 --> 00:55:59,524 No, it's not okay! Stop! You don't know this guy! 450 00:55:59,626 --> 00:56:03,528 Let me talk to them. Remember, we have to save the princess. 451 00:56:03,630 --> 00:56:05,894 What are you doin'? St... 452 00:56:09,068 --> 00:56:12,505 - Go easy, fellas. - Why are they shooting at me? 453 00:56:12,606 --> 00:56:15,166 What happened to " Mr. Shanghai Kid"? "Oh, I'm a wanted man"? 454 00:56:15,276 --> 00:56:17,244 - Why? - 'Cause you're an outlaw. 455 00:56:17,344 --> 00:56:20,142 - I am not an outlaw! - Stop! You're a bad guy! 456 00:56:20,247 --> 00:56:24,411 - Look at that poster. What does that say? - Drives girls crazy. 457 00:56:24,518 --> 00:56:26,749 Drives girls crazy? Drives the posse crazy. 458 00:56:26,855 --> 00:56:29,824 Makes them want to hang you, string you up, because you're a bad guy. 459 00:56:32,662 --> 00:56:37,258 - You got 20 seconds... - Aw, God! Give us a minute! 460 00:56:37,366 --> 00:56:41,769 Go around back, gentlemen. Make sure he isn't trying to pull the saddle over our eyes. 461 00:56:43,306 --> 00:56:47,505 Remember, I want the Chinaman alive. 462 00:56:49,712 --> 00:56:51,043 I'm not a bad guy. 463 00:56:51,147 --> 00:56:53,446 You're a bad guy. You're with me, you're a bad guy. 464 00:56:56,853 --> 00:56:59,378 Hey, you put me in this situation! 465 00:56:59,489 --> 00:57:02,423 - I'm the good guy, you're the bad guy! - No! We're both bad guys! 466 00:57:02,525 --> 00:57:04,961 - No, only you're the bad guy! You go out there and tell them! - No! 467 00:57:05,063 --> 00:57:08,225 - I'm not going out there! You go out there! - No, you have to go! 468 00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,469 - Did I just do that? - Not bad. 469 00:57:14,571 --> 00:57:18,804 I don't know karate, but I know " karazy," and I will use it. 470 00:57:22,815 --> 00:57:25,249 What the hell is going on in there? 471 00:57:37,163 --> 00:57:39,153 You okay? 472 00:57:39,264 --> 00:57:42,166 You just threw me through a window. 473 00:57:42,268 --> 00:57:44,600 You got that gold? 474 00:57:44,704 --> 00:57:47,833 What? Gold? What gold? 475 00:57:47,942 --> 00:57:49,932 Wrong answer. 476 00:57:50,043 --> 00:57:54,845 Wait. I'm... I'm unarmed. I'm unarmed! 477 00:57:54,949 --> 00:57:57,316 No gun. Hold on, no gun. I don't... 478 00:57:57,419 --> 00:57:59,410 I'm unarmed! You can't shoot an unarmed man. 479 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,922 - Don't worry. I help you. - No, John. No, no. 480 00:58:03,025 --> 00:58:05,323 John! John... 481 00:58:05,427 --> 00:58:09,363 Fight with honor. You will win. 482 00:58:09,464 --> 00:58:12,957 Are you frickin' insane? Is that what they teach you in Imperial Guard School? 483 00:58:13,069 --> 00:58:16,298 - What... - Pick 'em up. 484 00:58:23,148 --> 00:58:26,638 Well. 485 00:58:26,749 --> 00:58:29,685 If it ain't the Shanghai Kid. 486 00:58:31,755 --> 00:58:35,351 How about we make the Kid dance? 487 00:58:35,460 --> 00:58:39,055 Oh, come on! You can do better than that. 488 00:58:43,567 --> 00:58:45,832 You robbed the wrong train, son. 489 00:58:54,145 --> 00:58:57,343 - Look, Marshal, I think that if... - Just shut up and put on your guns. 490 00:59:05,190 --> 00:59:08,183 This is serious, you know? 491 00:59:08,294 --> 00:59:10,262 We don't come back from this. 492 00:59:10,362 --> 00:59:12,855 That's the general idea. 493 01:00:27,846 --> 01:00:30,974 What the hell you doin'? 494 01:00:34,452 --> 01:00:36,421 Stop procrastinating. Come on. Hurry up, son. 495 01:00:36,522 --> 01:00:40,356 Stop it! I'm not gonna let you cheapen it. All right? 496 01:00:40,459 --> 01:00:42,950 This is a duel. It's a sacred thing. 497 01:00:43,062 --> 01:00:45,860 It's beautiful. It's what separates us from the animals. 498 01:00:45,965 --> 01:00:49,163 Oh, yeah. 499 01:00:51,305 --> 01:00:55,604 Whew! I do not envy you. You ready? 500 01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:58,008 Why don't you turn and face me like a man? 501 01:00:58,112 --> 01:01:01,171 Why don't you do it your way and I'll do it my way? How about that? 502 01:01:07,222 --> 01:01:09,349 Oh, come on, Roy. You can do it. 503 01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,448 Oh, no, you can't. He's gonna kill you. 504 01:01:19,968 --> 01:01:23,302 - One. - He's gonna blow you away. 505 01:01:23,405 --> 01:01:25,374 Come on, Roy. Don't think like that. 506 01:01:30,814 --> 01:01:32,405 Two. 507 01:01:32,514 --> 01:01:34,983 Oh, yeah. Be positive. 508 01:01:35,085 --> 01:01:37,747 Be the bullet. Be the lead bullet. 509 01:01:44,261 --> 01:01:46,492 - I'm about to die. - Three. 510 01:01:46,597 --> 01:01:48,428 Roy! 511 01:01:50,636 --> 01:01:52,762 Duel's off! 512 01:01:55,139 --> 01:01:58,109 Roy! 513 01:01:58,210 --> 01:02:00,576 You blew it, John! 514 01:02:00,679 --> 01:02:03,409 Never interrupt a man in the middle of a duel. 515 01:02:03,515 --> 01:02:07,850 I had him. That's what kills me. I had him! I had him! 516 01:02:15,328 --> 01:02:18,627 Now you know how it feels to haul you around in that sedan chair. 517 01:02:19,866 --> 01:02:21,856 I will never bow to you. 518 01:02:25,906 --> 01:02:28,238 Take a good look at these faces. 519 01:02:29,510 --> 01:02:32,206 If you attempt to escape, 520 01:02:32,313 --> 01:02:34,440 I will kill one worker every hour... 521 01:02:34,548 --> 01:02:36,709 until you are found. 522 01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:45,120 Starting with this one. 523 01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:55,971 Do not let him see you suffer. 524 01:02:58,273 --> 01:03:00,266 I know who you are. 525 01:03:02,678 --> 01:03:05,649 Please, tell no one. 526 01:03:08,485 --> 01:03:11,180 You call this a special hideout? 527 01:03:12,355 --> 01:03:14,323 Yes, it is, John. 528 01:03:14,424 --> 01:03:16,859 It's also a good place to gather intelligence, 529 01:03:16,961 --> 01:03:20,829 'cause no one passes through Carson City without these people hearing about it. 530 01:03:20,932 --> 01:03:24,026 - Would you ask them about the princess - Yes, sir, I will. 531 01:03:24,135 --> 01:03:26,195 And I don't care how ugly it gets. 532 01:03:26,305 --> 01:03:30,298 I'm not gonna rest until I've pumped everybody in there for information, okay? 533 01:03:33,645 --> 01:03:35,544 - Hi, Roy. - Roy. - Hello, ladies. 534 01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:37,638 Make way for a couple of desperados. 535 01:03:37,749 --> 01:03:39,717 Nice to see you again, Mr. O'Bannon. 536 01:03:39,818 --> 01:03:41,786 - Greetings. Hello. - Roy. 537 01:03:43,723 --> 01:03:46,691 Oh, yeah, we're gonna get some information here. Trust me. 538 01:03:48,127 --> 01:03:50,119 This is not a proper hiding place. 539 01:03:50,230 --> 01:03:53,166 Oh, come on, John. Let's relax for a little bit. 540 01:03:53,267 --> 01:03:56,064 - Here, have a drink. - No. I wanna find the princess. 541 01:03:56,169 --> 01:04:01,369 So do I, but we can't exactly go door to door in Carson City looking for her. 542 01:04:01,475 --> 01:04:04,035 - Don't forget, we're wanted men. - Only because of you. 543 01:04:04,145 --> 01:04:06,477 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything's my fault. 544 01:04:11,652 --> 01:04:14,383 So, what's the princess like? 545 01:04:14,489 --> 01:04:16,548 John, what's the princess like? Is she pretty? 546 01:04:16,658 --> 01:04:20,059 - Is she a pain in the neck? - You are not fit to talk about her. 547 01:04:20,162 --> 01:04:23,097 John, you better remember where you are. 548 01:04:23,198 --> 01:04:25,190 This is the West. It's not the East. 549 01:04:25,301 --> 01:04:28,099 - Remember? - And the sun may rise where I come from... 550 01:04:28,204 --> 01:04:30,195 Blah, blah, blah. I know. 551 01:04:30,306 --> 01:04:32,274 Good. You remember. 552 01:04:32,375 --> 01:04:35,436 - Is she single? Is she single? - What? 553 01:04:35,546 --> 01:04:37,570 Is she married? Is she available? 554 01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,946 Only to a member of the Imperial family. 555 01:04:43,220 --> 01:04:47,748 Are you a member of the Imperial family? I don't think so. 556 01:04:47,858 --> 01:04:51,920 Was that a joke, John? That was a joke. 557 01:04:52,030 --> 01:04:55,590 John, that was your first joke. We gotta have a toast. Your first joke. 558 01:04:55,699 --> 01:04:58,533 - Yes. Yes. - No. 559 01:04:58,636 --> 01:05:00,695 Come on. Drink. 560 01:05:00,805 --> 01:05:02,774 - Just one. - Okay. 561 01:05:02,875 --> 01:05:05,138 But don't talk about the princess any more. 562 01:05:05,243 --> 01:05:07,974 Word of honor. 563 01:05:11,717 --> 01:05:14,709 Be fun to play a drinking game. 564 01:05:14,820 --> 01:05:17,311 - You know any Chinese drinking games? - No. 565 01:05:17,423 --> 01:05:20,621 Every country has a drinking game. You must know one. 566 01:05:21,994 --> 01:05:23,963 Just one? 567 01:05:43,584 --> 01:05:45,577 - Uno mas? - Uno... What? 568 01:05:45,688 --> 01:05:48,086 - One more. Uno mas. - Okay. 569 01:06:01,771 --> 01:06:05,673 No! I lost? One more. 570 01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:14,383 Oh, no! Oh, yeah! 571 01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,311 I'm so lost, John. 572 01:06:19,990 --> 01:06:21,982 Ninety percent of the time, I don't even know... 573 01:06:22,093 --> 01:06:24,060 what I'm doin' out here in the West. 574 01:06:24,161 --> 01:06:26,493 Terrible outlaw. 575 01:06:26,597 --> 01:06:29,998 - No, you're a good outlaw. - Stop, please. I'm a screw up. 576 01:06:30,100 --> 01:06:33,902 - No, I am screw up. Look at my scar. - No. 577 01:06:34,006 --> 01:06:37,999 One for arriving late At a guard duty. 578 01:06:38,110 --> 01:06:41,636 One for dropping fighting stick. You good. I saw you. 579 01:06:41,746 --> 01:06:45,342 The only thing I'm good at is talking. 580 01:06:46,653 --> 01:06:49,678 - It's true. - John. 581 01:06:49,789 --> 01:06:52,656 - Huh? - Take your hand off me, John. 582 01:06:52,758 --> 01:06:56,387 Oh. 583 01:06:56,495 --> 01:06:58,487 One more game? 584 01:06:58,599 --> 01:07:02,659 No. No more drinking. That's it. 585 01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:06,865 - Uno mas? - No mas, John. No mas. 586 01:07:12,113 --> 01:07:14,205 Roy? 587 01:07:14,314 --> 01:07:16,748 Roy? 588 01:07:19,153 --> 01:07:21,714 - Are you coming? - Fifi? 589 01:07:22,857 --> 01:07:24,848 Uno mas? 590 01:07:46,517 --> 01:07:49,974 So, who's your funny-looking friend? 591 01:07:50,086 --> 01:07:52,385 I don't know. 592 01:07:52,490 --> 01:07:55,050 He's this crazy Imperial Guard I met. 593 01:07:55,159 --> 01:07:57,127 He's-He's really funny. 594 01:07:57,228 --> 01:08:00,255 The guy's hysterical. 595 01:08:00,365 --> 01:08:02,925 We were just playing... Did you see us? We were just playing that game. 596 01:08:03,034 --> 01:08:06,002 John's going... 597 01:08:06,103 --> 01:08:08,732 And I was going... You can't really understand what he's saying, but... 598 01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:13,074 Roy? Roy? I never figured you for riding with a Chinaman. 599 01:08:15,781 --> 01:08:19,775 Well, I'm not exactly riding with him, Fifi. 600 01:08:19,886 --> 01:08:24,915 He's not my friend, you know. I mean, he's a Chinaman. 601 01:08:25,025 --> 01:08:27,356 Well, that's good. 602 01:08:27,460 --> 01:08:30,293 I mean... And you really... 603 01:08:30,396 --> 01:08:33,263 Were you guys talking about who he was? 604 01:08:33,366 --> 01:08:36,860 Let's talk about something else. 605 01:08:41,941 --> 01:08:44,672 Don't you look delicious? 606 01:08:44,778 --> 01:08:47,213 - What's going on? - Well. 607 01:08:47,315 --> 01:08:50,112 - You! - If it isn't the Shanghai Kid. 608 01:08:55,223 --> 01:08:57,192 Here. 609 01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:18,471 Thank you. 610 01:09:21,518 --> 01:09:23,510 Ahh. Thank you. 611 01:09:23,620 --> 01:09:25,588 Uno mas? 612 01:09:27,457 --> 01:09:30,359 John, come on. We gotta get going. 613 01:09:30,461 --> 01:09:33,259 - The marshal's downstairs. - No, no, Marshal's in there. 614 01:09:34,966 --> 01:09:36,934 Oh, man, John. What'd you do to him? 615 01:09:37,034 --> 01:09:39,026 - Come on. Let's get going. - No! 616 01:09:39,137 --> 01:09:42,731 - I don't wanna ride with you. - Come on, John. Damn, you're a mean drunk. 617 01:09:44,276 --> 01:09:46,608 - Hi, horsey! - All right. Shh, shh, shh. 618 01:09:46,712 --> 01:09:49,079 - All right, it's time for a "yee-haw." - Yee-what? 619 01:09:49,182 --> 01:09:51,342 Shh, shh, shh. Roy O'Bannon special. 620 01:09:51,450 --> 01:09:54,352 We jump off, land on the back of the horse, yell "yee-haw..." 621 01:09:54,454 --> 01:09:56,854 and ride off, all right? 622 01:09:56,956 --> 01:10:00,517 Watch me and do exactly as I do it. Yee-haw! 623 01:10:06,834 --> 01:10:08,801 Yee-haw! 624 01:10:10,538 --> 01:10:13,234 Okay, hyah! Hyah! 625 01:10:13,340 --> 01:10:15,606 - Hyah! Where's the head? - John! 626 01:10:15,710 --> 01:10:18,234 John, get up! 627 01:10:18,345 --> 01:10:20,870 Tie 'em up. 628 01:10:20,982 --> 01:10:23,951 What happened to my horse? Is he dead? 629 01:10:24,052 --> 01:10:26,043 No, but we are, John. 630 01:10:26,154 --> 01:10:29,555 - Hi, horsey. You sleeping? - Get up. 631 01:10:31,994 --> 01:10:34,791 Hmm. 632 01:10:34,896 --> 01:10:39,061 Mighty impressive hardware you're packin'. 633 01:10:39,168 --> 01:10:43,229 Why don't you get your eyes off my package, you twisted son of a bitch. 634 01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:50,844 - I hope that's him leaving. - Your turn. 635 01:10:53,383 --> 01:10:55,647 Thank you, Mr. Van Cleef. 636 01:10:55,752 --> 01:10:58,847 Well, well. What have we here? 637 01:11:01,358 --> 01:11:03,954 Mr. O'Bannon, I presume. 638 01:11:04,063 --> 01:11:06,792 Can I get a drink of water? I got cotton mouth. Aah! 639 01:11:06,898 --> 01:11:09,923 Don't mention it. 640 01:11:10,034 --> 01:11:13,937 And this must be the famous Shanghai Kid. 641 01:11:18,643 --> 01:11:21,169 - Chon Wang? - Lo Fong? 642 01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:23,373 You remember your old comrade-in-arms? 643 01:11:23,482 --> 01:11:25,473 - Hmm? - I remember a traitor. 644 01:11:25,584 --> 01:11:27,643 I'm sensing some bad blood here. 645 01:11:27,753 --> 01:11:31,554 - Where is the gold? - Where's Princess Pei Pei? 646 01:11:31,658 --> 01:11:33,387 Stop. 647 01:11:33,493 --> 01:11:35,518 Come on. We're men. We're not pinatas. 648 01:11:35,628 --> 01:11:37,687 Okay? And we're really hung over. 649 01:11:37,797 --> 01:11:40,027 We 're not trying to be tough guys. 650 01:11:40,133 --> 01:11:42,693 - You wanna talk about the gold, let's talk about the gold. - So, you have my gold? 651 01:11:42,802 --> 01:11:45,032 - Your gold? - Yes, we have the gold. 652 01:11:45,138 --> 01:11:48,973 - Then where is it? - The gold's in a safe place. 653 01:11:51,612 --> 01:11:53,581 Is he telling the truth? 654 01:11:58,853 --> 01:12:00,878 No. 655 01:12:00,988 --> 01:12:06,155 Ow! Nice, John. Way to go. Way to think on your feet. 656 01:12:06,262 --> 01:12:08,821 He cannot lie. He is bound by Imperial decree. 657 01:12:08,930 --> 01:12:11,022 Imperial decree. 658 01:12:11,132 --> 01:12:13,932 - When are you gonna learn you're not in China any more? 659 01:12:16,105 --> 01:12:18,596 He will never learn. He can only follow orders. 660 01:12:21,544 --> 01:12:24,378 At least I still have my honor. 661 01:12:31,221 --> 01:12:33,952 Slaves have no honor. 662 01:12:34,058 --> 01:12:37,356 - No! No! - Hey! 663 01:12:40,632 --> 01:12:43,600 Now you can never go back to China. 664 01:12:46,471 --> 01:12:49,463 You blew it. Whoo! You blew it, man. 665 01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:53,305 You do not want to cut his hair off, trust me. 666 01:12:53,478 --> 01:12:55,777 Nothing personal, boys. 667 01:12:58,383 --> 01:13:00,579 My loyalty is to the emperor. 668 01:13:00,686 --> 01:13:03,814 Yeah, John, I heard all about the emperor. 669 01:13:04,990 --> 01:13:07,426 Must be a hell of a man. 670 01:13:07,528 --> 01:13:10,654 He's only 1 2. 671 01:13:10,762 --> 01:13:13,493 Are you kidding me? You're sitting here with a noose around your neck... 672 01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:16,229 ready to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped? 673 01:13:18,371 --> 01:13:22,502 By virtue of the authority vested in me through the territory of Nevada, 674 01:13:22,610 --> 01:13:25,943 I do hereby order these men to hang by their necks... 675 01:13:26,046 --> 01:13:28,014 until their feet quit kicking. 676 01:13:34,789 --> 01:13:36,812 You're goin' to hell, boys, 677 01:13:36,923 --> 01:13:39,155 and your horses are taking you there. 678 01:13:39,261 --> 01:13:41,252 Tighten 'em up. 679 01:13:41,363 --> 01:13:43,833 Hang 'em! Hang 'em! 680 01:13:43,934 --> 01:13:47,959 Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! 681 01:13:48,069 --> 01:13:51,039 Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! 682 01:13:53,476 --> 01:13:56,605 Hey! Watch it, you little punk. 683 01:13:56,713 --> 01:14:00,944 Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! 684 01:14:01,050 --> 01:14:04,509 Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! 685 01:14:04,621 --> 01:14:09,149 Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! Hang 'em! 686 01:14:13,596 --> 01:14:15,998 John, what are you doing? 687 01:14:32,318 --> 01:14:35,754 What the hell is goin' on here? Stop those horses! 688 01:14:35,854 --> 01:14:38,481 Stop them! 689 01:14:43,597 --> 01:14:45,928 Pull it! Pull it! 690 01:14:52,940 --> 01:14:56,204 Help me! 691 01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:08,380 Well, don't just stand there! Go after them! 692 01:15:16,197 --> 01:15:18,564 Will you listen to this creek, John? 693 01:15:18,667 --> 01:15:22,864 I've never noticed what a beautiful melody a creek makes. 694 01:15:22,971 --> 01:15:24,940 I've never taken the damn time. 695 01:15:26,342 --> 01:15:28,309 Look at these mountains and these trees. 696 01:15:28,409 --> 01:15:31,277 Hell, look at these green trees. Come here. I don't even know the names... 697 01:15:31,380 --> 01:15:33,780 We're gonna learn the names of these green trees. Come here. 698 01:15:33,883 --> 01:15:36,614 I want you to look at these. 699 01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,744 Can we not... John, what are you doing? 700 01:15:38,854 --> 01:15:41,050 Are you still worried about your hair? 701 01:15:41,157 --> 01:15:44,149 John, listen to me. You're very vain. 702 01:15:44,261 --> 01:15:47,230 By the time you're 70, your queue, your ponytail... 703 01:15:47,330 --> 01:15:49,321 will be as good as new. 704 01:15:49,432 --> 01:15:51,593 - What are you doing? - I'm leaving. 705 01:15:51,701 --> 01:15:54,568 Can we not take two seconds, John? We just cheated death. 706 01:15:54,671 --> 01:15:58,769 Come on. Let's look at these mountains for a second. 707 01:15:58,877 --> 01:16:02,176 - Okay, let me get my stuff. God, you're unbelievable. - I'm going alone. 708 01:16:08,353 --> 01:16:11,754 What are you... John, what are you talking about? 709 01:16:11,857 --> 01:16:15,691 - I heard you. - You heard me. Okay. 710 01:16:15,794 --> 01:16:18,764 At Goldie's. 711 01:16:18,865 --> 01:16:21,799 You said I wasn't your friend. 712 01:16:23,604 --> 01:16:25,594 John... 713 01:16:25,705 --> 01:16:28,538 Hold on a second, John. I was talking to a girl. 714 01:16:28,641 --> 01:16:31,940 - It was... That's taken out of context. That's not... - Roy. 715 01:16:32,045 --> 01:16:35,983 You were right. How could I ever be your friend? 716 01:16:36,084 --> 01:16:39,280 I'm just a Chinaman. 717 01:16:39,386 --> 01:16:42,014 Hold on, John. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to... 718 01:16:42,122 --> 01:16:44,148 Sayonara, Roy. 719 01:17:38,782 --> 01:17:40,750 Wait here. 720 01:17:53,065 --> 01:17:55,465 Please. 721 01:18:15,021 --> 01:18:16,989 You have come a long way. 722 01:18:17,089 --> 01:18:19,615 I hope the princess you seek... 723 01:18:19,726 --> 01:18:21,717 is worthy of such devotion. 724 01:18:24,530 --> 01:18:27,329 It is my duty to bring her home. 725 01:18:32,573 --> 01:18:35,907 I even brought her favorite book. 726 01:18:39,047 --> 01:18:41,311 That's very kind of you. 727 01:18:43,850 --> 01:18:45,819 But what if you found the princess... 728 01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:49,287 and she did not wish to go back to the Forbidden City? 729 01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:52,951 Why would she want to stay here? 730 01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:56,360 Maybe she can do more for the people here... 731 01:18:57,533 --> 01:19:00,468 than she could back in China. 732 01:19:08,110 --> 01:19:10,477 Princess Pei Pei. 733 01:19:13,751 --> 01:19:16,116 Please, don't draw attention. 734 01:19:18,990 --> 01:19:20,981 Please. Stand up! 735 01:19:21,092 --> 01:19:22,956 Princess, you have to come with me. 736 01:19:23,059 --> 01:19:27,225 I cannot. Fong cannot find me missing. 737 01:19:27,332 --> 01:19:29,323 Princess, I cannot leave you here. 738 01:19:33,437 --> 01:19:36,965 Please, standup! 739 01:19:37,075 --> 01:19:41,068 Don't bow! Get up! 740 01:19:41,179 --> 01:19:44,148 Get up! 741 01:19:44,249 --> 01:19:46,411 You must go. 742 01:19:46,519 --> 01:19:49,977 If I leave, Fong will begin to kill the others. 743 01:19:50,089 --> 01:19:52,581 It is my duty to bring you home. 744 01:19:54,426 --> 01:19:56,758 I command you to go. 745 01:19:59,031 --> 01:20:02,058 Go! 746 01:20:03,203 --> 01:20:05,194 Go! 747 01:21:10,008 --> 01:21:12,408 Reach for the sky, baldy! 748 01:21:12,510 --> 01:21:15,503 That's right. It's Roy. 749 01:21:15,613 --> 01:21:18,105 Am I interrupting? 750 01:21:18,217 --> 01:21:20,185 I followed you. So what? 751 01:21:20,286 --> 01:21:23,584 What am I supposed to do, let you wander off? You're a greenhorn. 752 01:21:23,689 --> 01:21:26,920 You'll get killed out here. 753 01:21:27,026 --> 01:21:29,517 Come on! We gotta adios out of here, partner! Come on! 754 01:21:29,628 --> 01:21:32,120 Hyah! You gotta stick with me. 755 01:21:34,099 --> 01:21:36,090 Don't forget, we got a princess to save. 756 01:23:34,729 --> 01:23:38,323 Give my regards to the emperor, Princess. 757 01:23:57,888 --> 01:24:01,482 - Chon Wang? - Chon Wang? - Chon Wang? 758 01:24:05,896 --> 01:24:10,265 That's right, Johnny Wayne is here. 759 01:24:10,366 --> 01:24:12,335 Hey, it's me. 760 01:24:12,436 --> 01:24:15,029 Why did you cut his hair? 761 01:24:15,137 --> 01:24:17,471 I tried to warn you, But you wouldn't listen. 762 01:24:17,575 --> 01:24:19,701 Go on, drop the gun. 763 01:24:19,810 --> 01:24:21,780 Now, slide it over. 764 01:24:31,657 --> 01:24:34,126 Is that her? 765 01:24:34,227 --> 01:24:36,193 She's pretty. 766 01:24:36,294 --> 01:24:38,456 Grab her. 767 01:24:40,265 --> 01:24:42,496 Come on. We'll take it from here, guys. 768 01:25:06,527 --> 01:25:08,688 John, what... John, get up. 769 01:25:08,796 --> 01:25:10,822 What are you... I thought we were past this. 770 01:25:10,932 --> 01:25:13,593 Come on, John. 771 01:25:15,303 --> 01:25:18,431 Do you see? He will always be a slave. 772 01:25:34,957 --> 01:25:36,925 This is the West, 773 01:25:39,062 --> 01:25:42,032 not the East. 774 01:25:44,667 --> 01:25:46,636 And the sun may rise... 775 01:25:46,737 --> 01:25:48,728 where we come from, 776 01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:52,309 but here is where it sets. 777 01:25:55,813 --> 01:25:59,477 You want me to translate? The princess stays. 778 01:26:01,152 --> 01:26:03,143 The princess stays. 779 01:26:03,254 --> 01:26:06,052 I grab the gold, You marry the princess. 780 01:26:06,157 --> 01:26:09,218 We both hang Fong and call it a day. Mission accomplished. 781 01:26:11,895 --> 01:26:13,796 Well, well. 782 01:26:17,334 --> 01:26:20,304 Nice to see we're all churchgoers. 783 01:26:21,773 --> 01:26:23,799 Son of a bitch! With my own guns! 784 01:26:25,212 --> 01:26:27,611 Sweet, ain't it? 785 01:26:36,189 --> 01:26:40,421 How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. 786 01:26:40,527 --> 01:26:44,293 Only we ain't got no Mexicans. 787 01:27:01,116 --> 01:27:04,380 No! 788 01:27:05,954 --> 01:27:07,683 Princess Pei Pei! 789 01:28:21,802 --> 01:28:24,703 - I hit you? - No. 790 01:28:24,805 --> 01:28:27,275 But you're gettin' really close. 791 01:28:27,376 --> 01:28:29,865 You've almost killed me, like, 1 7 times already. 792 01:28:33,314 --> 01:28:35,282 Eighteen, nineteen, twenty! 793 01:28:36,986 --> 01:28:38,953 You're on fire today! 794 01:30:20,262 --> 01:30:22,695 How do you survive out here? 795 01:30:22,797 --> 01:30:27,861 What's that supposed to mean? These aren't my... These guns are really weird. 796 01:31:02,907 --> 01:31:05,399 Oh, man. 797 01:31:07,213 --> 01:31:10,204 Stay low! 798 01:31:45,586 --> 01:31:49,920 Maybe we should let bygones be bygones. You got off some good shots. 799 01:31:50,024 --> 01:31:54,826 I got off some good ones. Let's call it a tie. 800 01:31:54,930 --> 01:31:57,364 What's the matter, O'Bannon? Out of bullets? 801 01:31:57,466 --> 01:31:59,866 No, I got one left. 802 01:32:01,269 --> 01:32:03,261 Tell you what I'll do. 803 01:32:03,372 --> 01:32:06,808 I'll take out all my bullets but one. 804 01:32:06,909 --> 01:32:09,936 And that way, we'll be even. How's that? 805 01:32:11,414 --> 01:32:13,813 Okay. That sounds fair. 806 01:32:13,916 --> 01:32:15,885 You'd do that for me? 807 01:32:15,985 --> 01:32:18,510 Oh, yeah. 808 01:32:21,458 --> 01:32:23,983 You bet I would. 809 01:33:44,647 --> 01:33:46,617 We come out on three. 810 01:33:46,717 --> 01:33:49,617 I know, but-but let me count. 811 01:33:52,389 --> 01:33:54,550 Fight with honor. Okay. 812 01:33:54,658 --> 01:33:56,627 Fight with... Okay. One! 813 01:33:56,727 --> 01:34:00,218 Two! Two and a half! 814 01:34:00,330 --> 01:34:02,299 Two and seven-eights! 815 01:34:02,400 --> 01:34:05,096 Three! 816 01:34:24,190 --> 01:34:26,521 How the hell did that happen? 817 01:35:07,002 --> 01:35:08,992 It's a miracle. 818 01:35:10,573 --> 01:35:13,065 I am invincible. 819 01:35:14,243 --> 01:35:16,212 Roy! 820 01:35:16,313 --> 01:35:18,803 Invincible! 821 01:36:06,965 --> 01:36:10,959 - Now it's time for you to die. - Adios, partner. 822 01:36:42,271 --> 01:36:44,262 Wow. 823 01:37:01,924 --> 01:37:03,915 Roy! 824 01:37:12,802 --> 01:37:14,794 He took the gold. 825 01:37:29,220 --> 01:37:31,188 Is that all you care about is the gold? 826 01:37:31,289 --> 01:37:33,850 Shame on you. 827 01:37:33,959 --> 01:37:38,395 There's more to life than money. I hope you learn that one day. 828 01:37:38,496 --> 01:37:40,488 What happened? 829 01:37:40,599 --> 01:37:43,500 What? Nothing, nothing. I just killed him. How'd you do? 830 01:37:43,602 --> 01:37:46,537 - How? - What do you mean, how? I shot him with my gun. 831 01:37:46,638 --> 01:37:48,629 Come on. Tell me the truth. 832 01:37:48,740 --> 01:37:51,369 It was unbelievable. You missed a miracle. I had one bullet left. 833 01:37:51,477 --> 01:37:54,913 He had, like, a million left. He lied to me and told me that he only had one too. 834 01:37:55,014 --> 01:37:57,983 But-But when... But when he... 835 01:38:08,862 --> 01:38:11,524 - She's staying? - Yes. 836 01:38:12,800 --> 01:38:15,826 - Can I stand? - Yes. 837 01:38:18,673 --> 01:38:21,835 Reach for the sky, O'Bannon! 838 01:38:21,942 --> 01:38:24,537 That's my line. He stole my gang, he's stealing my lines. 839 01:38:24,646 --> 01:38:26,706 - That's unbelievable. - Roy! Roy! 840 01:38:26,816 --> 01:38:30,774 - Get back! - Stop, stop. It's Wallace. 841 01:38:30,885 --> 01:38:32,945 Hey, Roy, 842 01:38:33,055 --> 01:38:36,422 we know you been moonlightin' on us with that old yellow fella from the train! 843 01:38:36,525 --> 01:38:38,618 You guys, you stay here. This isn't your battle. 844 01:38:38,728 --> 01:38:42,391 - No, we stick together. We are partners. 845 01:38:44,801 --> 01:38:46,767 That's beautiful. 846 01:38:51,408 --> 01:38:53,401 You go out the back door. 847 01:38:53,512 --> 01:38:56,479 - No. - Don't worry, Princess. 848 01:38:56,580 --> 01:38:58,639 I promise you, I will see you again. 849 01:38:59,884 --> 01:39:02,409 That which you have promised... 850 01:39:02,520 --> 01:39:05,547 you must perform. 851 01:39:18,671 --> 01:39:21,003 - Get out of the way! - Why? 852 01:39:21,106 --> 01:39:24,598 - Come on! - Why? What are you... 853 01:39:24,710 --> 01:39:28,772 - What are you doing? Are you crazy? - No, John, stop, stop. 854 01:39:28,882 --> 01:39:33,478 They can't touch me. Something happened back there. It was a miracle. 855 01:39:33,586 --> 01:39:36,852 - There's no way... - Hey, smart-ass! Do you hear me? 856 01:39:36,957 --> 01:39:39,754 Time's up, O'Bannon! It's the end of the line! 857 01:39:39,859 --> 01:39:43,318 - We can take these guys. Yep, we can take them. 858 01:39:43,431 --> 01:39:46,867 Are you comin' out or ain't you? 859 01:39:48,235 --> 01:39:50,703 Gun. 860 01:39:59,047 --> 01:40:02,016 You really are the Shanghai Kid. 861 01:40:05,420 --> 01:40:07,548 Nice riding with you, partner. 862 01:40:18,602 --> 01:40:21,002 We go out on three. I count. 863 01:40:21,105 --> 01:40:23,334 No, I count. 864 01:40:23,439 --> 01:40:26,170 We'll both count. 865 01:40:26,276 --> 01:40:29,041 One, two, three! 866 01:40:39,757 --> 01:40:43,386 - Indians! Look out! - No! My family! My family! 867 01:40:50,635 --> 01:40:53,035 - Friends. Brothers! - Roy! 868 01:40:53,138 --> 01:40:58,440 I gotta tell ya, we always figured you for a dumb shit, but, uh, 869 01:40:58,543 --> 01:41:01,603 we was thinkin' maybe you wanna come back and rejoin the gang. 870 01:41:01,713 --> 01:41:04,342 - So, uh, what do you say? - Yeah, what do you say? 871 01:41:04,450 --> 01:41:06,418 I think I'm just gonna wing it. 872 01:41:06,519 --> 01:41:08,420 All right. 873 01:41:08,522 --> 01:41:10,512 - And you are goin ' to jail. - That works too. 874 01:41:13,792 --> 01:41:15,761 How, kimosabe! 875 01:41:15,861 --> 01:41:18,194 How, kimosabe! 876 01:41:28,209 --> 01:41:30,439 Oh, it's nice to be standing here next to you. 877 01:41:30,545 --> 01:41:32,912 I don't think I've ever gotten a chance to Thank you for... 878 01:41:33,015 --> 01:41:35,209 for saving us so many times. 879 01:41:35,316 --> 01:41:39,276 I wish you could understand what... I feel like there's this gap between us. 880 01:41:39,388 --> 01:41:41,378 It's like, I'm a cowboy, you're an Indian. 881 01:41:41,489 --> 01:41:43,890 You say "wampum," I say " money." 882 01:41:43,992 --> 01:41:46,256 At a certain point, I just think... 883 01:41:50,031 --> 01:41:52,091 Shut up, Roy. You talk too much. 884 01:41:52,201 --> 01:41:54,602 Did-Did... She just... 885 01:42:08,117 --> 01:42:12,179 There she is, right on time, carrying a big, fat payroll. 886 01:42:14,090 --> 01:42:17,287 Oh. 887 01:42:17,394 --> 01:42:19,624 I don't know if I'll ever get used to this one. 888 01:42:22,067 --> 01:42:24,033 Don't worry. You'll get used to it. 889 01:42:24,134 --> 01:42:27,103 I can guarantee you, we won't get half as many girls being lawmen. 890 01:42:27,203 --> 01:42:29,172 I know we're spoken for, but... 891 01:42:29,273 --> 01:42:32,709 You never know what's gonna happen in a relationship. 892 01:42:32,810 --> 01:42:36,541 I gotta get rid of my outlaw name. That's not gonna work any more. 893 01:42:36,648 --> 01:42:39,172 Really? What would you call yourself? 894 01:42:39,283 --> 01:42:43,618 I don't know. I mean, my real name's Wyatt Earp, but... 895 01:42:43,722 --> 01:42:47,489 Earp? That's a terrible name for a cowboy. 896 01:42:47,593 --> 01:42:49,958 - Why? - Bad. 897 01:42:50,062 --> 01:42:51,494 - Really? - Bad! 898 01:42:51,595 --> 01:42:54,896 - And John Wayne's a great cowboy name? - Roy, look. 899 01:42:55,001 --> 01:42:56,730 There they are. 900 01:42:56,836 --> 01:43:01,671 Yep. Look at those amateurs. That's my move! 901 01:43:01,774 --> 01:43:04,334 Come on, Roy. Let's go say " howdy." 902 01:43:04,444 --> 01:43:06,912 Let's go! Hyah! Hyah! 903 01:43:07,013 --> 01:43:09,005 - Yee-haw! - Yee-haw! 904 01:43:16,522 --> 01:43:19,083 - Yee-haw! - Yee-haw! 905 01:43:24,364 --> 01:43:26,492 Scene up. 906 01:43:27,701 --> 01:43:29,897 That which you have promised... 907 01:43:30,005 --> 01:43:32,768 you must perform. 908 01:43:32,873 --> 01:43:34,864 Hello. 909 01:43:34,975 --> 01:43:37,171 He was part of your " rushimiant..." 910 01:43:37,279 --> 01:43:39,247 What? Regiment. 911 01:43:39,347 --> 01:43:41,337 He's one of your bandits. 912 01:43:41,449 --> 01:43:43,178 He's one of your... He's one of your... 913 01:43:43,285 --> 01:43:46,380 He was part of your regiment of "dentists." 914 01:43:46,489 --> 01:43:48,515 Bandits. Dentists? 915 01:43:51,394 --> 01:43:54,522 Wow! Shit! 916 01:43:59,368 --> 01:44:01,393 He didn't teeth brush this morning. 917 01:44:01,504 --> 01:44:03,769 - What is this thing? - No! 918 01:44:09,346 --> 01:44:11,314 You can't do stunts, man. 919 01:44:16,820 --> 01:44:20,621 What's this princess like? 920 01:44:26,331 --> 01:44:29,233 I got air bubbles coming out of my thing. 921 01:44:29,335 --> 01:44:31,269 Uno mas, please. 922 01:44:34,173 --> 01:44:37,473 Uno mas... 923 01:44:39,012 --> 01:44:40,980 Thanks, Fido. 924 01:44:55,429 --> 01:44:58,660 One, two, three! 925 01:44:58,766 --> 01:45:02,668 Shit! 926 01:45:06,773 --> 01:45:10,038 - Thank you so much, Princess. You're so good. 927 01:45:10,143 --> 01:45:13,603 Princess! Oh, I love you so much. 928 01:45:13,715 --> 01:45:16,377 I'm talking to you! Turn around! 929 01:45:16,485 --> 01:45:20,215 Ask me if I give a shit.